Spurs football is too sterile

The English Premier League has been a see-saw affair of performances at the top and bottom and the individual team comics in terms of form and consistency. Liverpool and Chelsea do have a better  record of late, so do Arsenal. As for Manchester City, the unpredictability is a worry for the gaffer and fans alike.

What catches my attention is the flatness of Tottenham Hotspur. This comes after comments by Tim Sherwood that they had a better game than the Gunners in the London derby. Passing and attacking are one thing and then penetration and scoring another. Spurs play a game flatter than unleavened bread.

The lack of the final telling pass leaves all their work redundant. The killer pass eludes them. For all the ball they see and lay, their entry into the final third causes minimum threat and there is very little to worry the opposition, It is that mode that see them fail in Europe and struggle to threaten the top four sides in the league.

Spurs are a team of interest to the neutral if you consider their run under Harry Redknapp during their days with Gareth Bale. Bale was a great player but the Londoners were a finer unit until the arrival of Andreas Villas Boas. Sherwood has not added value to their play save for team selection. I wonder if the players feel they are undone by the results but there is nothing the football gods can do to reward an uninspiring play.

There is so much regress in their game and one day, they will wake up and smell the coffee. Sherwood needs to upgrade, and fast.

Chelsea winning, but why now?

From where I am, it is the Masters. Elsewhere, they call them Social, the Legends or Seniors' league. In these leagues, refreshment and rehydration is the dehydrating bottle of beer or alcohol, usually any time and anyhow. There are no rules, well maybe just.

At Stanford Bridge, it would be just the old guard game. Chelsea players carried this tag of 'old guard' over 5 years ago, even during the adored Jose Mourinho's days, and the players have not changed much.

The senior citizens of that squad have been John Terry, Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba, Petr Cech, Michael Essien and Ashley Cole. Managers came and went amid football politics scandals, but the greatest of them all is the latest. It is borne out of how Andre Villas-Boas was always seen an immature choice to start with.

Let us remember how the game of football started. Today's media is littered with the latest football controversy made by an Englishman claiming England owns the game. He has since apologised for it and we will not even try to defend of crucify him. 

Whoever started the game, the objective, centuries before the 150 years in question, was to drive a pig's head across a rival village, which in turn summoned women and children to close down the humiliating and degrading exercise. So you see tactics started way before technique and physical conditioning.

Even where I grew up, generally, boys across the river were enemies, and for lack of stones, dry cow dung made excellent missiles that we used. Despite gushes of blood, I cannot remember a recorded death. It may have been possible that years earlier, there was one.

In later years, the rivalry developed into a football war, for lack of foliage, as trees and vegetation were depleted as the population boom overtook the natural resources.

Forming a team was therefore very crucial. There was no coach or captain. The bigger bullies build two dunes of sand to represent their mothers' breasts. Whoever had the courage to kick and flatten the boobs of his adversary's mom, would be captain-cum-coach, unless a physical retaliatory response ensued. 

The protagonists duelled and the prevailing warrior led us to 'war'. Only the owner of the letter ball was guaranteed a place in his line up, unless we played an aerodynamically inferior paper ball stuffed with rags. 

The game would resume and tackles would be ruthless and brutal. There would be no referee and disputes were easily settled by punches until an adult would turn up and disperse the crowd,usually just for a while. Usually, sensing trouble, both parties would pretend they were cool with each other to escape the possible canning by the village court headman.

What is interesting is that matches would continue after the adult authority left, and week after week, bleeding after bleeding. Members from either camp ensured they never strayed into another's territory unaccompanied.  

This has been the traits of Stanford Bridge. Managers came and went. All they found when they found, was a set of protagonists with heaps of their mom's sand boobs. Roman Abramovic bought hot talent for huge sums of money, usually coming from where they were leaders and idols. 

Among others, Andre Shevshenko and Michael Ballack. These two never came close to their lethal best. Their idea of having the same impact in England as they had in Germany or Italy was but a dream. There is not need to talk about Fernando Torres. 

Many a times, we are at liberty to wonder and speculate. All the managers that came after The Special One could do, was manage the tempers, and usually not, because the group pretended there was harmony. Year in and year out, like a scratched vinyl LP, the situation repeated itself over and over and, of course, with the same result.

Talking my village football situation, Andre Villas-Boas became an adult we would think is young and weak, and we could team against and man-handle, usually successfully if they were young and/or drunk.

AVB was neither. He had lots of football in his head and wanted  to implement intrinsic and analysed technical and tactical methodologies to produce nice and winning football. He wanted to match the dollar investment of Abramovic with the style Chelsea played.

Those closer to the ground thought there was actually TMI (too much information) on his part, or let's say TMT (too much tactics). So, having worked with a renowned shrewd mentor in Mourinho, what he became was part of the package, to be TA (tactically aware). 

Now that AVB is gone, Chelsea found their rhythm in the league. Everyone seems to be gaining an extra inch in distance, extra ounce of energy, extra year in age and shedding an extra gram in weight. Winning thrice in a row, including the advancement in the UEFA Champions League through an extra time Ivanovic goal against Napoli, as a team, they are finding the extra goal. Roberto Di Mateo is the interim manager and his role is to be seen soon.

Again, as we did back then, it never was how much planning was out in the matches that we would win. It was who had the balls, and who picked the team, usually, the old guard. Playing with the set-up on the ground cost AVB his job.

AVB - Chelsea money talks

Chelsea Football Club, unlike any other in the English Premier League, are not an investment. They are a savings entity. Let me gist you about the difference. In life terms, investing basically means growing money. The nature of the vehicles involved, this growth can tilt either side of zero. The pure intention is profit.

By contrast, saving means the keeping of what is there for a long time, possibly life. While growth is not a primary concern, loss of the capital is criminal. With Chelsea, Roman Abrahimovic should be understood as a man who had money he could have hidden under his pillow for the next 60 or so years. Instead of the pillow, he bought Chelsea as the mechanism of keeping the cash.

Over the years, that vehicle seemed sensible and safe, such that he continued pouring in any extra coins he could pick up in the street. If they laid eggs, those would be a welcome bonus. The club represented his personal wealth and retirement for him and family. As with a pillow, there would be morning he thought a coin fell from underneath his head, and he would make it his business, not his maid, to sweep the floor.

To draw a sharp contrast, Arsenal have been a true investment. Menial amounts of paper money were thrown into the system and they would mate and bear children overnight. As long as the fertility was in that direction, peaceful nights passed by, the slot machine ringing, such that the directors can hardly hear the fans crying for honours or trophies. There is absolutely no need to change any winning formular, hence, Arsene Wenger will be the equilibrium constant of the equation.

Having drawn the line and cleared the air over the extremes, let us look at the history of Chelsea under the Russian billionaire. Abrahimovic has always spent on players' purchases and wages without a wink. The Blues coaches' salaries have always been cool. The vision of the returns on the savings account would tickle even a small baby, but without peeping on the Chelsea owner's savings passbook or audit reports of the club, thinking he ever made bucks from football would be a long short.

Winning the English championship back to back under Jose Mourinho and the FA Cup as well as the UEFA Champion's League among others served only to stroke his personal ego. I would not bet on that having made him a better man even among his peers. It could have attracted useful change to reward his players more and even cushion the savings, probably by just replacing the pillowcase.

The current problems, as preceded by similar ones, befell Andre Villas-Boas when this pillowcase was dirty and could not be replaced. Depleting the savings to cushion the saving is like selling your only pillow to buy a pillowcase. Even the thought of that potential would draw the ire of a mentally disturbed man.

The issue of pride and status would have mattered at the Stanford Bridge, but to maintain a healthy wage bill, Chelsea needed to be going as further ahead of the pack, any pack, all packs, as possible. This attracted TV and fans. The commercial aspects made sure the huge wages budget does not haemorrhage the piggy bank.

AVB was assigned to guard the situation. Many think the man was able. Few understand how this was going to be impossible. At Manchester United and Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson  have been in the business for a long time. The economic waters favoured them in trying times of high and low tides. Their roots became deep in a way that made the institutions almost their personal properties.

The wage bills and recruitment of personnel in tightly under their control, exactly the opposite at Chelsea and for the reasons already given. The two veterans have a say on the wage bill. They choose their pick and call their tune. They pay the piper and face the music.

Chelsea bosses receive players whom they may not use. The material being availed to them comes at a price. With that tag, the feeling of invincible superiority. The well paid-gladiators, in due time, will know they make more money than the boss. The financial advantage over the manager addictively rubs off everyone and all control is lost.

Rivals like Man U and Arsenal will never have the players earning above the managers, unless other arrangements outside the club structures are made. This genuine concern shifts from the playing field. Everyone starts looking over their shoulder. Instead of the players knowing and adhering to the manager's strategy and not questioning his abilities and credentials, the attention is elsewhere.

Playing on your mind now might be how investments are of less interest than savings, or, why the clubs are not sacking coaches left right and centre. The gamblers lose all and still hope they will win it back tomorrow. They throw all the coins into the slot machine. They win some and lose some. It is a common principle.

Time to build success and stabilise the situation is limited. The constraints of trying to cement one's philosophy and implant discipline are not helped by lack of interest of the owner in club politics. This is not helped by the fact that when Abrahimovic goes to bed, he lifts the pillow and sees the state of his savings. There is no only who could perhaps survive the double-edged sword at the Bridge.

The Special One stubbornly built a side of mature warriors ready for battle. The same battle weary war horses have been recycles beyond repair. In trying to mould a new breed around the likes of Daniel Sturridge, things were bound to be worse as those benched due to the presence of youngsters threatened the up and coming boys. 

It will take a character of Jose Mourinho to build another team that excludes Frank Lampard, John Terry, Didier Drogba, Petr Czech, Flaurent Mouluda and other veterans. That clean sweep has to happens lightning fast and by the one who does not need to create a football profile. They should be able to tell Abrohimovic his story right in their face. 

If anyone thinks Mourinho is the man, they are deluded. It will not be surprising to see the two-man hug, but that will be the beginning of the end of Mourinho. Chelsea need to build from bottom up, with new faces, from manager to players