Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Arsenal donates title to United in a golden platter.

Contrary to popular belief, beef does not come from the supermarket. Arsenal are like a child who goes to buy beef at the butchery when a fat bullock is about to be slaughtered. Manchester United are the greying chief with his intact teeth, who shows up to the cattle pan armed with salt, pepper, chillis, ketchup, toothpicks and all, during a traditional skinning of the beast.
You may still recall how a rural witchdoctor from Limpopo who scratched the backs of the players of one team I took to greatness ages ago, how he said he was very popular with Liverpool supporters for his juju. After Sunday’s Liverpool exploits, the confusion is cleared. The sangoma was serious.

Looking at the picture of the Barclays Premier League right now, you will see how United don’t need to do a thing to win the title. That is when I think that the Premiership is faulty. I must say that while Chelsea and Manchester City are the boys that hold the knives and skin during the slaughter of our bull, Liverpool are abandoning their duties of cleaning tripe and offal.

There is no guessing who the actual skinners are here. They will be labouring until the last match of the season. This they do with good course. The seniors in this department are Everton, Aston Villa, Fulham and Stoke City. They are supervised by iron fisted Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs’ main duties are resigned to making fire for the barbeque/braai.

Of the lot at the top of the table, when the deal is done and it’s time to eat, only Chelsea have at least the dentures. They have always been far more dangerous at their worst than Arsenal at their best. The problem is that their worst spell took far too long for United to worry about. Sir Alex Ferguson knows the title is in the bag, even though The Blues are the only ones with balls to wrest it away. Actually, it was theirs until they lost it.

All remaining fixtures are now academic. We await El Classicos as Jose Mourinho is getting frustrated in his efforts to remain Special.

1 comment:

  1. He became special again last night, showing typical Jose resistance and grit by chasing Barca all over the pitch! Messi, Xavi, Iniesta et al starved of any form of breathing space!

    ReplyDelete